Molly Piper

This week I finished up the twins’ room! Now we just need two babies to come live in it!

Thanks to my small army of volunteers, here’s how it looks!

This is the girl crib:

This is the boy crib:

This is the boy dresser: (see, Jenny, I need your expert dot-placing help!!!)

Here’s the breakdown:

Jenna helped me sew the bumpers. She was the most patient person while I went from learning how to thread my sewing machine, to making my own bias tape, to finishing the final seam. We finished these bumpers a couple nights ago at 12:30am!

My friend Carol (who doesn’t have a blog) sewed the sheets with/for me. She’s a long-time friend of my husband’s family, and I’ve loved getting to know her through the years. Our times together are always special and really fun!

Abraham gave new life to two old dressers with his awesome paint job! I love how they turned out!

Jenny helped me with the vinyl transfer on the wall (“He gives”). Neither of us had ever done one before and it was kinda funny. She also did the dots over the red (girl) dresser. Everything she touches turns beautiful.

Danielle designed and ordered the “He gives” vinyl for me. She’s amazing.

If you look on the red dresser, you’ll see 3 little canvases. They were painted by my friend Andie. She made a second set for the other twin, but after we found out that Twin B was actually a boy, she offered to take them back and repaint them to look a little more boyish. She’s still working on the second set, and I’m so excited to see them (no pressure, Andie! I mean it!).

And also on the red dresser is a figure of a woman carrying two babies. That came from the amazing women at the Real Hope for Haiti Rescue Center, Licia and Lori! When my parents-in-law visited them a couple months ago, they gave this to them for me and told them that this type of figurine is very popular in the Haiti markets, but it was the first time they’d seen one with a woman holding 2 babies! Thank you, Licia & Lori and the whole Zachary clan. You all amaze me with your work and your hearts for people and God!

Now the countdown is ON! 3 more days!!!

Last night, Abraham and I went on a double-date with his parents. It was nice to have a relaxing conversation with them over dinner, especially knowing that it’ll be one of my last ones for a very long time.

After dinner, Abraham’s dad wanted to drive out to the suburbs to look at a treadmill he was thinking of buying from Craigslist. We ended up driving through a deluge on the way, which made the trip memorable and funny at times. Seriously, the wind was blowing so hard that the water laying on the street was moving uphill. Lightning and thunder were crashing everywhere around our little minivan.

With my trusty mother-in-law navigating, we arrived at this really nice suburban home and were greeted by a beautiful woman in her mid-late 30s (I’d guess). Dark brown hair, very fit, very smiley. She started demonstrating the treadmill for my father-in-law and things were going well. The rain had let up considerably so I got out of the van to go take a peek.

There’s no hiding at this point that I’m very, very pregnant, so we had a conversation about the obvious. She asked where I was delivering, and I told her. She perked right up, and asked who my doctor was, and I told her. When she heard my doctor’s name she just gushed and said, “I delivered my twins there. She was one of my doctors!” Then, kind of waving her hands in front of herself dismissively, she continued, “But I’m not even going to get into it with you.”

There was something she didn’t want to tell me because I was pregnant. So I just went ahead and told her: “One of the reasons she’s my doctor is because we had a full-term stillbirth in 2007. Dr. Sent-From-God (*not her actual name*) is my rock star doctor.”

Then she just opened right up. She told me about her twins who were born at 25 weeks back in 2002, after 6 weeks of her being in the hospital to try to save the pregnancy. One died soon after birth, and the other lived for a couple months before dying as well.

So there we were, two women standing in a suburban garage with real-life horror stories no one should ever have to tell. But I’m so glad we did. The differences between us were no longer there. We were just two women who’ve gone on living, even while we miss our children.

I was honored to be there, to hear the abridged version of her story. She asked that my father-in-law email her when our twins are born.

We drove away (treadmill in our possession) into a beautiful rainbow that had formed after the huge storm. I’m not kidding–it really happened. None of us had our cameras with us to take a picture (which is extremely rare if you know my mother-in-law).

It felt very profound and symbolic for me, though–terrible, blinding storms followed by a beautiful calm. I don’t know if this woman feels that same peace and calm in her soul. She mentioned “God’s plan” and “keeping the faith.” I was just touched by God’s special comfort to me after our interaction. It was like he was saying, “You’ve gone through horrific times, but there will also be repose. I cause grief, but I also show compassion.”

But even more than that, I felt just this utter sense of God’s presence, his plan, bringing me into this stranger’s garage. I was reminded once again that we never know what’s just below the surface, what trials others who we meet have faced. In some strange way it’s comforting, this crazy bond of suffering. We’ll meet each other in train stations, on airplanes, on the other side of the world, on the internet, at work. It reminded me to keep my eyes and ears and heart open.

I thought I’d fill you all in on what’s been movin’ and shakin’ with these babies!

I had another ultrasound on Monday morning and have some good things to share:

• Both babies were head-down! That means I should be able to have a normal delivery. That would be incredible, so please pray that they both stay head down. They said there’s still a chance that they could flip, but it’s kind of unlikely.
• Baby A was estimated at 5 pounds, 9 ounces and Baby B was estimated at 6 pounds, 5 ounces. They said that the ultrasound measurements can be off by a pound or more, so I have to hold that pretty loosely. But even if they’re off by a whole pound, the babies are growing well! This also means that I potentially already have over 11 pounds of baby right now.
• Both babies are moving well and their heart rates are very good.

I wish I had a couple pictures for this post, but the babies are growing so big that getting decent pictures of their faces is more and more difficult! It’s just a jumble of baby parts in there.

Update on Mom:

• My blood pressure is good.
• I’m not too terribly swollen.
• It’s excruciating to roll over at night and get up to go to the bathroom. It’s like my muscles just give up. At the worst times I have to wake Abraham to escort me to make sure I don’t fall.
• I’ve been having some help with the boys 2 mornings a week at home from a mother’s helper. She’s an 11-year-old friend of the family and she’s doing AMAZING! And one other morning a week, my friend from church takes the boys to her house for the morning. Having 3 of 5 days covered is helping a ton.
• I’m really sick of cheese sticks and granola bars.
• We’re still planning an induction for August 2, when I’ll be 36.5 weeks along. Due to the unexplained, full-term death in my history, my doctor feels this is the best course of action (and I trust her very much). When weighing near-term prematurity against full-term death, I feel very happy with our decision to go ahead and have them a little early. I know some of you won’t agree, but that’s where I feel at peace for the health and safety of my two babies.
• It’s possible that my body could decide it’s time before 36.5 weeks. They say that 50% of twins come by 35 weeks. I’m praying that everyone stays healthy and happy inside until August 2, though.
• Moving around is exhausting. We have very little on our calendar right now. I suppose that’s just preparing us for how little we’ll be able to do once they come!
• I think we’ve settled on both of their names! We’ve had the girl name for quite some time, but boy names were killing us! It feels good to have that mostly settled. A little suspense for ya!

Thanks for all of your prayers and encouragement! We are so thankful for the support!

When I was pregnant with my first, a good friend told me a funny way to know how close your due date is:

Look at the date on the milk carton.

When she was having her first baby, it was what officially freaked her out. She looked at the date on the milk and it was dated for after her due date!

I have since marked the coming of all my babies by noting the dates on the perishables. Thank you, Liz.

Today it was the milk. It’s dated for August 2nd (my official induction date). Here’s hoping we make the 2 gallons I bought stretch until then, because I’m not feeling the whole grocery shopping thing right about now!

The sour cream doesn’t turn until after August 12th. Hopefully our babies will be 10 days old by then!

Okay, I’m officially freaked out.

My Nana (my great-grandmother), whenever we spent the night at her house, would lead us in our bedtime prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

God bless Mommy, Daddy, Janae, Preston…

When Orison was born, he got a little stuffed toy that had a very cleaned-up version programmed in when you squeezed it:

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

The angels watch me through the night

And keep me in their blessed sight. Amen.

I remember at the time thinking I didn’t like the cleaned-up version. It felt like it was giving the message of, “Uh-oh, don’t teach kids the d-word.”

It’s an epidemic in our culture from the earliest ages on up–no one wants to talk about death. You’re considered morbid if you think about it, ponder it, plan for it.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, the organization

I’ve been wanting to write a post about this organization for months now. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is a photography organization that captures family moments with their baby who has died or is dying. They have thousands of trained volunteers (professional photographers) who make this happen. And, amazingly, they provide these services for free.

I get quite a few emails from people asking what they should do in the immediate moments surrounding the death of a baby. One of the things I always tell them is: 1. Contact Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to see if there’s a photographer to go to the hospital. 2. If they’re not available at your hospital, take pictures.

I remember it being a strange decision to take pictures of Felicity. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep wasn’t operating at our hospital back in 2007 (and I didn’t even know about them anyway) so the pictures we have were taken by us and our parents. They aren’t professional, but they’re precious.

When your brain is completely overcome with shock and grief you aren’t thinking about the long-term. You aren’t thinking about how you’ll remember this baby 2 years, 10 years down the road. But you’ll want to remember that baby, and your already-fuzzy brain will grow fuzzier with time. Having pictures of your baby will help reconstruct some of the memories of your time together.

I felt so much pride for Felicity, just like I did with all of my other children. My maternal instincts were very much a part of our time with her, and I felt very, very proud.

I would encourage you to browse their website and see some of the beautiful work they do. Also, NBC aired a heart-wrenching news story back in ’08 about their work. Be prepared to cry pretty hard if this is an issue close to your heart. But it’s worth your time and tears to watch it:

A couple months ago I was at my job as a Speech Pathologist at a local children’s hospital. One of my co-workers there has twins who are now in high school. We were talking about twins (of course), and her advice to me was:

Keep your toes pointing forward.

I laughed at the time, but realized today just how important that piece of advice has been for me! Any of us who have been pregnant, or any of us who’ve seen a woman who’s getting “close to her time” know this phenomenon. I’m talking about the tendency to waddle.

And, dang, it feels good to waddle when you’ve got a huge bowling ball on the front of you. Just point those toes right out to the 10 & 2 positions and get it over with!

I became aware of my waddling today as I made my way through the hospital for my 32-week non-stress test. I go for them every week, and every week the trek into the testing unit feels longer and longer. I realized as I walked down another looong hallway, “I’m totally waddling.”

So I pulled those toes inward, pointed them straight ahead and did my best to keep them that way the whole way out. It must’ve worked, because I was leaving, some man said aloud, “Wow!”

I know he was commenting on how poised and controlled I looked, not on my huge bowling ball of an abdomen. I just know that’s what he was marveling at.

Wow, that lady’s so purposeful in her movements. She’s so graceful. What? She’s pregnant??? But her toes were pointing straight ahead! Are you sure she was pregnant? I didn’t even notice.

So when it’s waaay to hot to be pregnant, and you feel the need to waddle, remember this:

Keep your toes pointing forward.

You’re welcome.