May 10, 2010
I Will Prepare in Hope: Having a Baby Shower
I’ve written a little bit since finding out about the twins about how I’m afraid to hope.
One thing I’ve relied on a lot since losing Felicity is letting others hope for me. Seeing their faith and hope helps. It really does.
I think I’ve heard my friend Barbie say over a hundred times during our friendship, “I have great hope for you, Molly.” She’s said it so many times and in so many instances that the tone of her voice, the look on her face are burned into my memory. I need that mental tape to play for me often.
One of the ways I’m exercising hope during this pregnancy is allowing my dear friends to throw a baby shower for me. I was super hesitant about it for a number of reasons:
- I’ve only been to one baby shower since Felicity died. I don’t really do the baby shower circuit anymore.
- This is my 4th pregnancy–who has a shower for their 4th pregnancy? I thought people would think it was weird.
- I didn’t want to get excited (or get a bunch of gifts) and then have them die.
But…I’m moving forward in it. My best friend Danielle designed invitations for the event, and I love them. Even just seeing evidence that this is really happening helped me get excited. Plus, Danielle will be in town for the shower, so I’m thrilled about that!
Here’s the invite that made me so happy:
This design just oozes hope to me, for some reason. Maybe because the person who designed it designed it with deep knowledge of what I was/am opening myself up to in going ahead with a baby shower.
I have no idea how I will fare as the guest of honor. It feels very foreign and scary.
But I’m thankful that there are people willing to come around me and rally my heart in hope and faith and love for my children, no matter how this pregnancy turns out. I need their strength when I feel like I have none. I need their excitement when all I have is fear. I need their joy when sorrow is pressing in.
I need their hope, because hope is a beautiful thing.
* * *
Also, if there was any way to transport all of my supportive, amazing readers into this baby shower, I would do it. So many of you have shared your hope and excitement with me through these years. I would love to see your faces around the circle in that room. Consider yourselves all invited, at least in my heart.
Beautiful designed invitation!
I’m thinking your readers should snap a picture of ourselves and send them your way for your baby shower. Who knows…maybe then your “real-life” friends might print them all and hang them all around the house that sunday…
could be fun…but especially weird. lol
Anyway, so glad to see how the Lord is blessing you! Have fun!
YAY SHOWER! :D lol great invite, too. have fun!
I’m so happy you are getting this. I can’t stop smiling at the thought of how rockin and beautiful it will be!
Yay Molly… I think a baby shower will be beautiful. I continually pray for you and the girls… I am HOPING FOR YOU BIG TIME!!! (I know that sounded very 80′s but I just had to go with it…:) Praising Him for these 2 precious lives:)
Sara
Hi Molly.
So I totally registry stalked (I’m not a freak, I promise) and I wanted to show you the pacifiers I found with my 5th baby. They are like the ones you registered for, but they don’t obstruct their little noses. These are actually the pacifiers they use in hospitals in Hawaii. Just thought I’d show em to you:
http://mandybking.blogspot.com/2010/05/few-recommendations.html
Hoping with you and for you, Molly. I’m praying for joy for you, deep and abiding, for you to be “a joyful mother of children.” Lots of laughter in your house, celebrations, tastes of Heaven.
FTR, I don’t do baby showers anymore either. It’s just too hard because it seems like a lot of people just want to gripe and complain about how hard newborn nights are, etc., etc. Sorry, but I just can’t relate to that.
I do go to showers like yours though. Moms who have lost a child (either before or after birth) “get” it and it’s a wonderful celebration.
I wish I could come. I hope you have a ball!
awww… it’s going to be a beautiful “babies” shower! I pray for you and the twins every morning!!!
diane (a fan of your blog)
Love, love, love, LOVE the invitation!! And I just wrote the date on my calendar. I’ll be praying for you, friend!! May God fill your day with so much love and hope and beauty that the fear and pain just washes away for a few hours. Love you!
your vulnerability is so powerful. the invite is adorable. God is and will continue to use you and Felicity for His glory.
Molly – I love your writing. It’s honest, witty, blunt, and just makes me feel like I know you personally. Pretty much everything you write, I nod my head and think same thing. I hope you write a book someday. You have a way with words.
Our small group has a shower for EVERY baby. First, second, third, etc. Doesn’t matter. Every baby is celebrated!
The Lord has blessed us with two sets of twins both boys! It is sooooo excting to have twins, alot of work but the joy and fun exceeds the long nights of feedings. Our oldest are 22, and our younger set is 6. The younger set are Joel and Josiah and at age 3 Joel was dx with a childhood cancer and had a very short battle and went to Jesus 1/23/07 So, we know as well the journey of grief, BUT great and wonderful grace falls each day and we look with great hope of being with Joel again. Josiah is 6 now, his name means Jehovah heals and I believe the Lord allowed us to have Josiah here with us to help heal our hearts.
What beautiful gifts of twin girls the Lord is weaving and forming within your womb! The Lord will guide you with the pregnancy. Stay upon the Word and let it be your strength. Joel and Josiah were born at home with 3 mid-wives, it was incredible and I had fears with that and He gave me so many truths to hold on to as we anticipated their arrival. They were one week early ad the first set was 9 days late. His very Name is Faithful and True! He will be that to you!!!!!
Blessings,
Cindy (mom of 13)
How will you fare as the guest of honor? You are going to do amazing! I know you will. And if you get a little weak in the knees, I’ll pour you another glass of punch.
This day is going to be FULL of joy and hopeful expectation. The Lord has done great things and we are going to celebrate!
Molly, I am excited for you to be showered with love and hope at your baby shower! What great friends and sisters in Christ you have walking with you. Isn’t that what this life is about? I pray that it just infuses you with strength and hope and joy and that the remainder of your pregnancy is uneventful and (relatively!) comfortable.
I think it’s wonderful that your friends are throwing you a baby shower for your 4th pregnancy–what a fabulous way to be pro-life and love babies. :) Last year our church threw a shower for a mom having her third baby and everyone contributed freezer meals. She loved it!
I think it’s sweet that they’re having a shower for you. And you’ll definitely need it–you’re having TWINS! You’ll need twice the baby gear and at least a few sweet little matching outfits.
I loved it on FB yesterday, but I love it on here today! Of course you know that the V’s have great hope for the Pipers. I wrote it on my calendar, I will be praying for you on May 23rd. That is our March for Babies day, too! God Bless Molly & her incredible family!
Hope IS a sometimes scary, difficult and always wonderful thing.
You are learning such deep intricacies about emotions, both good and bad. Praying the good ones outweigh the bad.
That invitation is beautiful! I love it :).
Molly, if anyone wants to send you a shower present, they can ship it to me :)
So glad that you have friends who will hope for/with you!
love you.
and also…let’s skype these readers in!
Enjoy every pink, frilly, ruffled moment! :)
Such a gift! And it’s on your b-day, right?? ; )
You can do this! I’m so glad you have such loving, supportive friends!
I hope you enjoy every minute and you leave feeling loved and cared for!
I wasn’t sure why I cried when I read this, but then remembered my baby shower for Tyler. It fell after the second appointment showing things weren’t typical. I knew Tyler would struggle for life and finally poured out my concern to a friend. I didn’t know what I would do with everything if Tyler died, and I asked her if people would want their gifts back because I didn’t have a baby to use them, or if people would think they wasted their money. My friend assured me they were throwing the shower because they loved me and Tyler. She said they wanted to help us with Tyler, or any other baby that may use the purchased items. It helped me feel less weird about the shower.
The day after my shower I went to an appointment that turned into 3 months at a hospital 9 hours away. We returned home alone, Tyler was with the Lord. I hated seeing all our preparations. But now, two boys later, I am SO grateful for the kindness, love and hope my friends showered on me! Thank you for posting this and letting me be reminded how blessed we are to have such loving friends!
I will be praying for you as the guest of honor!
Molly – I have truly loved reading your blog. I too have experienced pregnancy loss (3 miscarriages over two years) and have recently found out I am pregnant with twins as well. Though I know I can carry a baby to term (I have a 6 year old) it is still a scary experience. Thank you for sharing your story – it makes me feel so much less alone. I have hope for you and your babies…and am holding out hope for mine as well.
Catie
here is a post i wrote about my loss… it does make it so hard to hope – i am also pregnant again, but it also ties your heart to motherhood so closely
http://lovelybud.typepad.com/lovely-bud/2010/05/thoughts-on-motherhood-loss-and-the-sea.html
Thanks for this post, Molly. I’ll be praying for you–with the twins and the emotional roller coaster it must all be for you. As a childless woman who has struggled with infertility for many years, I have also struggled at baby showers.
http://abranchinthevine.blogspot.com/search/label/Infertility
God has been so gracious though–in countless big and small ways showing me His love and empowering me by His Spirit to experience sincerely rejoicing with others (as I cannot do this in my flesh). I’m sure you know what I mean–our God is so good. Praying that you would experience His grace by being able to relax at your shower and enjoy His blessings and love through the friends and family who are showering you with love. God bless you and your precious family!
I love the colors in the design. It reminds me of the fabric you were thinking of for the bedding. have you picked that yet? Take pics of the nursery when your’e done.
I think it’s great that you are having a shower. I’ll be praying for continued health for the babies and pregnancy. Hope you are feeling well. love you lots.
Hold on to hope. But if you are weary ,you can allow hope to hold onto you.
Just want to know that I am a follower of your blog from Texas. My husband is the Children’s Minister at the Village Church and I found your blog one day. It has been very inspiring to me especially with help encouraging my friend who recently lost her son to cancer at the age of 4. Just your thoughts about mourning with them just opened a new world to me to how to grieve with the brokenhearted like Jesus did. My husband and I are praying for you.
Sending much hope, joy, and hugs your way Molly. I am so happy to hear that you allowing those that love and support you to have a baby shower for you. I couldn’t bring myself to allow my friends to have one for me when I was pregnant with Emerson after losing Gavin and I regret it to this day. Many prayers for you and your sweet family. I don’t even know you IRL, but your posts and blog have been such a source of support over the past two years since I lost Gavin. Thank you for that.
Blessings,
Amanda
Forever missing Gavin 4/7-5/3/08
I’m coming!!!!
Actually, I’m crying because I can’t be there to hug you and watch you breathe in hope as you open each gift! I am so thankful that you have such awesome, great and wonderful friends to care for you!
I am hoping for you. Praying for you.
Thanks for the invite!! I accept:) Wish I could be there, but will be in spirit. So excited for you!
Once again, your authenticity has won me over. To hope with a God hope in the face of despair: That is courage.
I LOVE this post Molly. The bright invitation just screams joy. I am hoping for you!!!
That’s such a beautiful and un-cliche invitation…and I love how it’s been de-stalker-fied!
Thank you for your honesty and authenticity in the midst of your ongoing heartache. Such lovely invitations, and such beautiful friends who continue to love on you guys so tenderly. Enjoy your baby shower!
danielle did a great job on these!
the hope is there, for sure. when you were in shock, we were deep in grief. when you were deep in grief, we were asking God those hard questions (sometimes with clenched fists). when you were asking God those hard questions, we had been humbled, reminded of his goodness and power and renewed. when you were humbled by the reminder of his goodness and power and yet still scared to hope, we hoped. i think that’s part of the calling of being a friend to the grieving, being just enough ahead to welcome all the stages and hope through them.
Molly, I have been secretly reading for a while and it is time to follow your blog officially.. :)
This entry in particular is so sweet. I am entering into my 16th week of pregnancy after losing our 3rd daughter at 31 weeks. I was super anxious in the early stages of this pregnancy bracing myself for anything and now as I begin to have flutters in my womb, I am feeling anxiety creep up from my heart into my throat. My two daughters and their pure joy over this baby has allowed for me to peek into the part of my heart that felt still so hurt to hope at first. I am striving in the Lord to celebrate this little life now.. Hope in what is only promised, God will not let go of me.. He is secure.. He is faithful… I am “hoping” right along side of you. thank you for your words.
love & blessings
After my miscarriage at 12 weeks along I was on pins-and-needles for my entire next pregnancy. I went on to have a sweet baby girl and she was absolutely perfect :). I’m so glad you have people rallying around you and hoping for you!! What a wonderful family we have in Christ! I pray that the delivery of your twins will go well and that the Lord will richly bless you and your family. ps. Having twins is a blast! My twins are 7 years old and there’s never a dull moment in our home!
“dontstalksarah” super cute. The invitation is lovely and sweet. Have a wonderful, gentle, sweet and memorable time. And it is perfectly natural to have a baby shower for these sweet babies.
[...] us the answer:) But… in another post she wrote about having a baby shower, entitled “I will Prepare in Hope” and I absolutely LOVED that [...]