Jan 25, 2010
I Don’t Like Coffee, but I Like Useless Facts
Time for true confessions: I don’t drink coffee.
[insert audible GASP!]
I know, I know, I know. Will you still be my friend? I can drink tea! Or even a chai tea latte (see… SEE? I’m getting closer, right?)
But seriously, all funny business aside, I’m at peace with my distaste for coffee. I can still be a grown-up! I can still do all the things that responsible adults do!
I figure, if I made it through college and graduate school without resorting to coffee, then I will probably do just fine for the rest of my life (with a cup of caffeinated tea from time to time). You know, they say “It’s an acquired taste.” I just chose not to acquire it. I love the way it smells, can’t stand the taste.
So, with that fumbling preamble out of the way, I had to pass on this adorable (yet informative) cartoon about… coffee!
I like this cartoon because:
- It’s so cutely illustrated.
- The points are short enough to keep my attention (that of a non-coffee drinker).
- So much useless information (but could probably be of use in Trivial Pursuit someday)!
So if you actually like the stuff, you’ll probably be doubly entertained.
(via Wesley Hill)
Oh man, the last couple illustrations made me laugh out loud.
“imma give u an adrenaline sandwich, k?”
TOO FUNNY
Gabe hates coffee too. And he says it smells like dirt.
I love The Oatmeal. And I love coffee. I don’t like coffee mixed with oatmeal. At least, I don’t think I would. Hm…
I don’t really drink caffeinated coffee anymore. But I love the taste so much I can’t give it up entirely. Strong brewed drip coffee mixed with flavored half and half (my current fav is white chocolate peppermint) I could seriously just down an entire pot without thinking about it. Which is why I have to drink decaf. Because if it’s at all remotely possible to drink so much caffeine your brain explodes, I WILL DO IT.
Molly! I hate coffee, too! I Love coffee-shops…REALLY don’t like coffee. I can drink a little – with lots of sugar -but that’s it. I can do mochas…tea…chai teas…not much beyond that! Haven’t really regretted it, either.
Anyway, I haven’t even had a chance to look at the coffee cartoon yet, but I just skimmed the beginning of this post & laughed – had to comment.
Funny stuff. And I know Wesley. Small, small world!
Loved the dancing goats!
I’m rather fond of the expression, ‘If coffee tasted as good as it smelled, I’d be addicted’.
~traci
Same here. I’m one of the few people I know who didn’t get addicted to it in college. I prefer my hot tea.
Not a coffee or caffeine person at all. I have been on a few mission trips to third world countries where team members complained bitterly about missing their “just had to have and couldnt function” gourmet Starbucks or whatever coffee, despite being surrounded by abject poverty. Not cool. Andy does not drink coffee either, so when we have visitors, we just set out the coffee machine and grinder and tell them to help themself. We figure they would rather us not make it:).
Congrats on your pregnancy-I am praying for you, your family, and this precious life! I am actually 35 weeks pregnant and have been wanting to tell you.
I LOVE hearing stories about Morrow! I see that he is really into B “words”. So is Ben:). Andy and I joke that his limited vocabulary consists of completely useless words, such as identifying all stars everywhere (thank you Nativity books), parts of the face, balls, saying “this”, and the letter Q (I have no idea why).
I drink lots of coffee everyday. It is how I got through college and graduate school. I used to drink lattes and now I usually drink it black. And I totally get a headache if I don’t have any. It is really bad.
Thanks for sharing!
I love that cartoon! I also love coffee, but just for the taste. Caffeine has nothing to do with it.
I’m this way about any and all forms of alcoholic beverages, though. I just hate the taste. I don’t want to acquire a taste for it (no reason to…) and I don’t want to ever drink it.
I am with on on the smell – I love the aroma of coffee; it is heavenly. I like the taste okay, but it’s taken me a long time to get to that point, and it has to have a lot of cream and sugar.
I prefer my decaf vanilla latte (made with a mix and hot water, no less).
That was quite amusing.
My first cup of coffee was a black cappuccino, and I hated it. I liked a guy who was really into coffee, so I (mostly successfully) acquired a taste for it behind his back to surprise him (and our mutual friend with an espresso machine) by enjoying a second cappuccino at the end of the semester.
I married the guy who was really into coffee, and he developed a hobby of roasting his own beans. Now, I enjoy a cup of “coffee” if it has about as much half & half as coffee and a good dose of sugar.
Finally! I love the smell of coffee but don’t drink a drop either. I thought I was the only misfit out there!
That was absolutely amazing.
I think you hit the nail on the head: “I love the way it smells, can’t stand the taste.” I refer to that as “The Great Disparity”.
But if coffee tasted as good as it smells, it would probably be illegal.
Coffee is gross unless you put stuff in it
. I am not a huge coffee drinker, but recently I have been having eye twitches and I heard drinking coffee is good for it. So I gave it a try and wow, it really worked! It’s so weird. But I guess its weird I have eye twitches and need coffee to cure it too. Maybe its a placebo…??? LOL
I’m with ya sister! No coffee for me, or my brother for that amtter and we were raised by some serious coffee people. And I married a total coffee snob, to boot! I’m an all tea, all the time kinda gal! hot or iced, green or black – my new favorite is White Pomegranate from Trader Joes! But coffee, not so much! That cartoon was very funny though…I like having useless knowledge that could make me look intelligent!
Hi Molly!
I don’t drink coffee either. I only drink decaffeinated tea (long funny story}
Very funny cartoon, that I will pass along to my very caffeinated husband!!
Hope you’re feeling well these months!
Jane
Oh Molly, I am with you. My friend was visiting over Christmas and said I have a tea addiction. It’s just one cupboard and only maybe 20 varieties… I think she was mostly just unhappy that I didn’t have a good selection of coffee varieties or a coffee maker! I live in Australia and a good cup of ordinary tea with milk is one of my faves but I like experimenting too!
I”m exactly the same – I hate coffee (to drink) but love the smell. My mom and sister are avid coffee drinkers but I Just never ever could acquire the taste.
Anyway that cartoon is hilarious. I love that site!
This is SO funny – I said the exact same thing about coffee! If I got through college without it, I think I will be ok. I have tried to drink it in several different forms but I just don’t like it. Glad to know that I’m not the only one
I suspect Orison might be heading in that direction as well.
As long as we’re confessing coffee habits- I don’t drink it either. But what makes it worse for me is that my husband and I run our own coffee shop
shhhh- don’t tell the customers- lol.
Here’s another fun coffee fact for you. An 16 oz cup has about 300 mg of caffeine while a 16 oz Coke only has about 45 mg. Talk about a caffeine rush! Also did you know the most expensive cup of coffee on the market comes from beans that get completely digested by an animal (I think in the cat family)- so gross- I do not want to pay good money for something that’s been eaten and pooped out before coming to my lips!
Molly,
I just saw that you are pregnant… praise God! What exciting news. I will pray for that precious little one growing inside of you:)
By the way, I don’t like coffee either:)
Sara
Same here – Love the smell, hate the taste (except for Mocha, chocolate and just about anything is good). But I am quite fond of tea.
7 years ago, when I had graduated college and was just starting my first real job, my Nana make a connection between being a coffee drinker and having ‘grown up’ and it made me wonder, – ‘will I ever really be a grown-up without coffee?’ I have gotten over that – mostly – and know I can sit *smugly* on Sunday morning as folks talk about needing there coffee fix, =)
You should try a London Fog. It’s a speciality tea, but it’s amazing!
I hate coffee too. Trust me Molly, it’s a good thing. Most coffee beans are picked by children that are slaves. Unless you buy fair trade.
I can’t stand coffee, but I, too, love tea. This could prove a bit problematic when moving to Ethiopia, the birthplace of coffee. Maybe I can acquire a taste for the stuff.
I won’t judge you for not drinking coffee. Especially since you shared that hilarious cartoon.
I have a good friend who made it through college and med school without coffee. She actually drinks Ovaltine every morning.
so awesome molly. i love that kind of thing. the americano fact was particularly interesting, because i love those and i didn’t know whey they were called that. i know that there are people like you who don’t like coffee, but for some reason i just can’t believe that it’s true! i can’t wrap my brain around that one! it’s like not liking ice cream. now all of this thinking about coffee is making me want to go brew a pot! i think i will.
Hi Molly,
I drink coffee and love it, and I love you!
That George Washington quote pretty much made my day, and if I feel sad tomorrow, I will think of that quote and laugh. I love having a jr. high sense of humor, it makes life so much more fun!
I am not a coffee drinker, either. I’ve tried to like it a couple of times, but I just don’t get it. I do like the smell, though. And the cartoon was cute. If nothing else, I now know what the difference is between all those coffee drinks.
Had to chime in: I don’t drink coffee OR tea, and was getting tired of drinking Diet Mt. Dew on cold winter days for a little caffeine. Then last year I found “my” thing — Caffeinated Hot Cocoa! By Swiss Miss. It’s called “Pick-me Up”, I think. Awesomeness.
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you through your blogs here. I thought I would reply here about your being a non-coffee drinker. I said the very same thing about having made it through college without starting and was not embibing until the whole coffee shop gig hit it big. I was over 40 when I started. At first it was just mochas, then eventually I moved toward creamed coffee, to now being nearly black. I prefer de-caf, don’t care for the buzz. Steve and I consider ourselves coffee snobs now, with our bean grinder and French press at home. Steve is thankful he can enjoy conversing with me over an aromatic fresh cup, now he’s working on getting me to enjoy beer. Don’t think that’s gonna happen.
Glad you’re at Hope and look forward to getting to know you better.
We too have a daughter in heaven. We only knew of her presence growing in my womb for a week before she left us. So not quite the same as your having known and anticipated life with Felicity. God did give me a dream though a few days before I miscarried and I was arguing with him over her name. The dream was all about “Melissa”, and I kept saying no, it’s suppose to be “Michelle” as that was the name Steve always wanted to name his daughter. So, though this isn’t an absolute that I have a daughter yet to meet, I hold this dream close to my heart.